Sunday, September 17, 2006

I can't take ANY MORE !!!!

Boy has a friend over. I've just lied and said that Boy and I have chores to do, so said friend will have to leave. The truth is I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!!!
Boy is being a shit. He's jealous of his friend. He's bossing him around and generally being an ass because he desperately wants to be better than his friend at something. Or for himself to be more knowledgeable about something. Or for something to go his way. I'm embarrassed and sickened and I've had a million talks with the Boy in the past 24 hours and I'M THROUGH!

I'm tempted to ground the Boy for the rest of his life. I think it will make my life easier if Boy never plays another board/video game EVER EVER Again! I'll certainly NEVER EVER let Boy have a guest over, because it was embarrassing. EMBARRASSING!

!!

!

But I know that all these things would accomplish would be to lower Boy's self esteem. They would not address the problem, and therefore the behavior would be unlikely to extinguish. I don't know what I'm going to do, but it won't be coming down on Boy like a ton of bricks.

I'll probably have him go on about things he likes about himself, and things other people probably like about him. And we'll carry on for a while about how comparison is the work of the Devil. The Key to Unhappiness. After that I'm a little lost. Because I want to walk him through how his behavior looked from my viewpoint/ his friend's viewpoint, and there will be tears. Honestly though, it was bad. Maybe tears are called for.

I'd like for him to gain some skills in mastering his emotions. Feeling jealous, but then letting it go so he doesn't act jealous. Getting over himself without a lot of negative self-talk or stuffing his feelings away. How do you teach someone to do that?

I know not. This is parenthood at its most frustrating. When you have a thing you know needs to happen for your child and you don't know how to do it.

Wish me luck,
ephelba

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