Thursday, March 10, 2016

Something New

I'm meant to be working on the house, getting it ready to sell, but I've hit a hump so  I'm going to blog instead. HA! Procrastinating like the pros....

I was just reading my old posts, and I'm struck by how many times I thought I'd figured something out and was going to get better. Well here's something new- I've finally accepted that I get what I get and I can throw fits but it won't change anything. For whatever reason my body is not as energetic as my brain wants it to be. I can skip wheat and dairy (I do) and take supplements (I do) and prescription meds (I do) and all I get is some easing of symptoms. It just doesn't get better, and I appear to be on a sort of slow slide. That's that.

It makes me very, very, very angry.

And that's ok. I have been robbed. It's right to be angry. Then I put on my big girl panties and get things done for as long as I can. I still manage to get a fair amount of things done, just never as much as I'd like.

The good news is that we're moving to Michigan. Mom is having us move into her trailer, which sits on the family property. There will be much less square footage to clean in the house. There will be no mortgage there. No fluoride or chlorine in the water. No rules about mowing the lawn. No prohibitions on chickens or bees or goats or gardening the hell out of native plants (aka weeds, in the city. Oh the fun we had with that). Although the winters are grob awful, there's a wood stove meaning we'll actually be warmer there- we kept the heat set at 55 here. One winter we kept the house warm with a kerosene heater in the living room. We all wore coats inside. It was nasty. Interestingly, we didn't catch any colds that winter, but I digress.

OF course, it's no Shangri-La there. Lots of people of the sort who would vote for Trump are there. Lots. When you meet new people, it's "What church do you go to?" and "What sport do your kids play?" . I will not fit in now any better than I did when I went to high school there.

There are no good jobs there. I hope to get a job subbing at the schools a few days a week, but that would mean Wayne would have to have some kind of job that allowed him to watch the girls on those days.

And of course, I'm moving in with my Mom. A lady I barely know, because she's been in Russia for most of my life. A lady with whom I have issues. I refuse to even ponder how that's going to go down, because it terrifies and tires me, and I'm working so hard on getting this house done. The rest of the family is already there, huddled between piles of boxes. Apparently Simon spend his days on the computer, the girls poke at rocks in the driveway, and Mom fusses a lot. This is the impression I get from here, and it drives me dotty. I need to get up there and put things to rights.  I have to finish here first, which involves a hella lot of painting. I cannot communicate how much painting me and my friends have done. Also electrical work. Also caulking. Also getting rid of things.

I say we, but I really mean my friends. The Loon came all the way out from Michigan and busted hump to get all the drywall stuff done, as well as paint and paint and caulk and paint. My other dear friend (that I haven't named here yet) made this project her new nine to five, and has been out here painting and painting and keeping me going. Other friends drop by and paint when they have spare time, or watch children for us, or lend us tools. I absolutely couldn't do this without them. I really don't want to leave them behind. It feels like every five years I leave my people and start over. This is also why we're choosing Michigan- because we've decided to quit doing that. We're tired of pulling up stakes and starting over.

I suppose that's enough of that. Gotta go get some more paint in my hair.

Wish me luck,