Tuesday, November 19, 2013

FB Status Updates I never posted, but really wanted to.

The children's favorite bathtub toy is the mildew that gets flushed out of the inside of their other bathtub toys. Best. Mom. Ever.

I think religion says "This is the right thing to do.  That is the wrong thing to do.  You must do whatever it takes to do the right things and not do the wrong things.  Hurt yourself, the people you love, don't be true to yourself if it means that the right things get done".  I don't have religion, so I think you should not hurt yourself or anybody else, and you should be true to yourself, and if something meets those requirements, that's how you know it's the right thing.

My dog is scared of My farts.

You're all being pwned by like-farmers.  STOP IT!  BAD FACEBOOKER!  BADBADBAD!!!!1!

The best part about sleeping in your clothes is that you can go to work in your pajamas.

Really, the only people who are capable of cutting you to the bone are the ones that you love.  

Sometimes FB make me feel lonelier than ever, because when no one responds to my posts I know it's because FB hasn't shown them to anyone, because no one has interest in me.  It's the FB catch 22.

Sometimes FB makes me feel the love more than ever, because I post a comment and someone I didn't even know hits the like button.  In a set of more than six billion people, there exists at least one other person who agrees with me.

Someone is wrong on the internet again.  Make them stop.

I actually DO find your pictures of lunch interesting.

The Bug: "Let's get a Christmas tree."
Me: "We can't afford one.  We'll have to make something like one."
Me: "It's not like it's an option and I'm holding out on you.  Do you want breakfasts, or do you want a Christmas tree?"
The Bug: " A Christmas tree."

(Which I can't post because people will think I'm whiny, but honestly I thought it was funny...)

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