Sunday, January 28, 2007

Same shit, different cycle

I used to type all my entries in notepad, then cut and paste them into Diaryland, because I had an old pc that puked frequently. It delighted in waiting until I'd put a fair bit of effort into an entry first. Then I got this Mac, and I've been freely typing away in Blogger with nary a worry. Of course, the "Firefox has unexpectedly quit" messages

Who? Who doesn't expect it to quit? Because it ain't me. I am dead certain it is about to quit any second now, and am thoroughly nonplussed by that stupid error message.

are increasing at an alarming rate, and I lost an entry today. And an email. And one of those thingys you put at the bottom of someone else's blog entry. Comment. Whatever, you knew what I meant.


Back to typing in Notepad.

Of course, notepad "Unexpectedly" quits too, so I may just be up a creek. Surprise!

What the hell was I typing about? I can't remember because I'm tired and nursing and apparently milk is made out of Mom Brains. Yum.

Oh! I remember...

Ok, so I have been shopping for a new birth control method lately. "New" would be anything other than saying "Oh shit" or "Whoopsy!" EVERY GOD DAMN MONTH. I'm frankly scared by the thought of leaving copper up in my hoo-hoo for ten years at a time, because (don't laugh at me) I worry it worsens Alzheimers. There's conflicting research that it either slows or worsens the progression of the disease. I don't want to get an IUD put in and then find out it's rotting my brain. There are progestrone ones, but I tend to get side effects from the hormonal birth control. I was on the ring, which gives you about the lowest dose of estrogen possible, and for my troubles I got a permanent set of brown splotches on my face, a diseased gall bladder, a loss of sex drive, and - oh yeah- A BABY. I'm staying away from the hormonal stuff.
Which leaves things you put on or in. Which is what I'm supposed to be using now. Which I forget to do. Which makes me think I should just go with the copper IUD. And around we go. I have no fucking clue what the hell to do, other than put in a reminder on my Yahoo calendar so that it emails me every month to say "Now would be a good time to use a condom, genius." Starting next month. Because this month we've already fucked up, see?

The thought of a third kiddo still scares me stiff. We talked about going to get the morning after pill or getting a copper IUD put in now, but we agreed the idea was icky. At the time we couldn't put our fingers on why, but I think I've got it figured out since then. Simon and I are parents. If the sperm has romanced the egg, the result is, in effect, our child. Making my uterus uninhabitable for it feels like we're harming our child, which we won't do. We'll give it a fighting chance. Of course, if it misses or bounces we'll have a beer and call it day, but if it sticks... well, you can't imagine the love it's going to get.

Going to "Add an Event",

1 comment:

Tracy said...

Hi Ephelba (I haven't read Wicked, so I don't know about the spelling thing!) -- but I liked and agreed with your comment on Borneochica's site about trying to keep our kids from making mistakes that can't be fixed -- and I realized the funny part is that my son started out as one of my "mistakes" from when I was 20 years old, and has turned into the complete love of my life and my reason for living... and I'm sure back then my parents were going out of their minds about me! But here we are 19 years later and it's all good (very good, actually!)
Anyway, just wanted to say hi -- I see that you're in NY, too (the city?) and tell you that I love that you have blogs to your kids -- what a GREAT idea!!!!!