Chocolate espresso malt balls.
Mayhaps you think "Yuck".
You have obviously never tried one, because they are the yummiest thing man has ever made. I would never have spent money on them myself, but luckily for me Simon is an adventurous sort, who brings yummy things home and then tries to hide them from me. In his sock drawer. Which is silly, because I'm the only one who ever puts away the laundry. He probably thinks I didn't know about the Cadbury bar that was there last week. Ha! I had a Twix bar in the kitchen cupboard for two weeks!
But I stray far, far away from the topic at hand...
They are a lovely deep dark brown. Rather large-ish to fit in your mouth. There's a thin glossy layer that takes a second to dissolve, and sometimes you can slide it off into a shuddering pile with your tongue. Then the full rich chocolatey flavor come out, and you can't believe anything could taste this chocolatey. More chocolatey than the chocolatey-est chocolate. That, my friends, is the espresso talking. Oh yeah. Sometimes I can't help myself, and I just bite bite bite bite and it's gone. Other times I let it dissolve until I'm left with the strangely crystalized malt center, which I chew delicately with my front teeth. Either way it is very hard not to reach for another.
I know that sounded like an ad. Which reminds me- at night on the local NPR station they play old radio programs, like "The Great Guildersleeve"- and all of them are sponsored by some company, which reserves half the program for its own promotion. My favorite is Miracle Whip. Boy do they lay it on thick. Did you know it is the BEST SALAD DRESSING EVER? EVER! IT'S TRUE! EVER! THE BEST!
You probably have to be there.
I'm going to leave you now, and go eat me a malt ball.