The Wee-Wee Fairy
I told the girls that if they didn't pee in the house for a whole week, the Wee-wee Fairy comes and puts the yummiest bone they've ever tasted in their crate.
Think it'll work? Me neither, but I was hoping to speed up the process.
Boy is at Little-the-great's house this morning. Last night we went to visit with other kids I used to watch... it was a nice little reunion. It's a good feeling to be surrounded by small humans you had a hand in raising. Little-the-great came with, and when Morning came to get him she got to say hi to some long lost chums too. Then she did me a big favor and took the boys to see Scooby-Doo, which I did NOT want to see. Boy spent the night, leaving me free to... well, um, have a beer and go to bed. WOO HOO.
Want to hear a joke one of the kiddo's told me? It goes like this:
Ok, so it's funnier when she tells it, she being two and all.
This morning when I was half asleep I had an odd urge to create a family with three or four children in it, instead of just one. Then I got this overwhelming feeling of guilt, like I'd contemplated cheating on Boy, and then I decided it could wait until boy was older, like 18. Then I could find myself a sugar daddy and hatch a brood of youngins... and the time that Boy and I had together would be a something special to cherish between us, something for his future younger siblings to be jealous of. And boy could go through college grousing about me to his friends, "Yeah, I don't know what's up with the horny old bitch, I mean, she's too old for that, ha ha ha..." Won't it be swell.
Or not. By then I'll be 38. That's the prime of life, you know? Do I want to give that up to kids?