Sunday, June 23, 2002

The Scary Boat Ride

I tried and tried to add an entry about my trip to AuntieM's, but every time I do the computer pukes before I can load it. Loon and I decided the only thing to do is to type it up else where and paste it in. At first I thought that it would be a good thing to write the same entry more than once. Instead of getting better and better I think it gets worse from wear.

So, as I was trying and trying to say, I had a very interesting visit up north. Ben wanted to go out on the lake, and having gotten permission we headed out for a three-hour tour. Please keep in mind this was the second time I had been captainess of a vessel. We began by having the first mate (Read that as "Boy") row us out. This event was somewhat complicated by the fact I was only familiar with going places frontwards. When I gave directions I was expecting the front of the boat to go the way I was pointing. It was with some befuddlement that the first mate got it through my head that the Back of the boat goes first. At least it does when he rows. Later on he tried it my way and decided going frontwards isn't half bad. Soon thereafter he decided he was Done rowing. He asked if he could get in the water.

Let's have a peek inside my head, shall we? "This can't be a good idea, can it? I mean, he is wearing a life jacket, so he wouldn't drown. And the water isn't deep. And I'd be right here. What a pain it is to get in and out of a boat, but then I guess it would be a pain for me. He probly wouldn't care, he'd be so happy to be in the water. Of course, there are icky slimy huge leviathan unseen creatures down in the brown, cold layer your toes can just reach, but if I don't tell him about them he may never imagine them and manage to grow up a sane man who'll swim in lakes...."

I answers "Ok."

Boy climbs in. His face registers a moment of fear as he slides into the water, then relief as the life jacket does its job. He paddles his arms.

Suddenly he realizes the boat is drifting ever-so-slightly away. He tries to swim towards the boat, but he really hasn't learned anything about swimming in swim class, and he's not getting anywhere. Now his face is all about fear. I'm talking to him the whole time. I'm telling him I wouldn't leave him there. I tell him I'm bringing the boat around. I tell him to hang on, he's alright. He obviously doesn't hear a word I say. He's begging me to get him. "Mom, come get me!" "Mom, don't leave me!"

Now That's a heart breaker.

I did get the boat within his arm's reach, after a maneuver that briefly looked as if I was going farther away. He grabbed onto the edge and..... was fine. Didn't want to get in the boat, just wanted to be sure he could reach the boat.


I mean really, would I leave my kid in the middle of the lake?

So now that the crisis is avoided he does a one-armed shimmy down one side of the boat, up an oar, down an oar and back.

At this point the thought occurs to him that there is no elevator, crane, ladder or magic wand to put him back in the boat. Worry begins to rear its head again. Amidst his pleas to "Get me, Mom" I reach, haul, drag, yank, pull and heave him back into the boat. His reaction?

"Cool, can I get back in?"

Believe it or not, I let him. After the three minutes it took for him to become a Popsicle he asked to go through re-entry again, to which I replied that this was THE LAST TIME I was doing that procedure. He agreed, and I reached, hauled, dragged, yanked, pulled and heaved him in again.

The first mate then decided he needed to pee. We landed on the shore where he chose not to pee on land, but in the lake.

"Ha! Now the lake is full of MY pee!"

I dare you to tell me that man is not a territorial animal.

As I rowed us out to the middle of the lake again, we encountered another obstacle. A soft "ploop" signaled the loss of the nut that held the oarlock together.

Boy freaked.

You may think he was justified, but you haven't seen the lake. I was rowing because it was really too shallow to use the trolling motor comfortably. You can walk across the lake in many spots. Even if all that weren't true, it's not like the family didn't know where we were.

I related this to him. He didn't seem to believe me. After a tiny bit of finagling I got the motor set at a usable angle and we set off for home. Boy leaned over the side. I thought he was looking at the bottom of the lake. As we pulled into the landing I realized he'd fallen asleep.

When he woke up he jumped out of the boat, turned around and said "That was a SCARY boat ride!"

Ok, there's more to tell, but it will have to wait.

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