Wednesday, June 26, 2002

No Poop Here!

I surprised myself today; this is how:

Boy has had swimming lessons all week. The Y is running a program for free, so I'm all up in it. Yesterday Boy experienced a huge leap in his confidence around water. What did he do with this gift? Why, go in the deep end without any floating device actually attached to him. With a floaty barbell and some flippers he heads for a good place to DROWN. I'm watching from the observation deck. I'm really starting to worry. Just when I'm ready to bust out the window the swimming teacher catches him and suggests a floaty belt for these hijinks.


Later, Boy jumps in the shallow end for a few last minute maneuvers. These are marketed as a chance for me to see what he can do, but actually serve to keep him in the pool for every last possible second. Another boy begins a game of chase. The other boy, WEARING A FLOATY BELT, aims for the deep water. Boy pursues him on a floaty bar. I yell at boy and tell him to get his non-swimming butt back in the shallow end. He turns around. He puts the barbell under his chin in a "Look Ma, no hands!" posture. The barbell goes Shloop! right out from under him and lands just out of reach. He utters one desperate "Help!"...we will now follow events in slow motion....

I think I have to save him.

In dumb-ass-mode I go to put my wallet and keys down, as if they'd cease to exist if they got wet, or as if I would care....

The two life guards are already at the edge of the pool.

I get ready to jump in and wade over. It is taking SOO LONG for me to get in the water!

One of them dives and pops up right next to him.

This all happened so fast Boy didn't even go under.

This freaked me out. Really a lot. Way more than Boy. Later that day I retold the story to Loon. I then told her about shocked I was that Boy had NO FEAR OF DEATH! Loon looked askance at me. She said there was no real reason to worry that Boy would drown in a pool surrounded by lifeguards. She said I should encourage Boy's risk taking, if not his rule breaking.

She is right. I realize she is right. I also realize that Boy could DIE in any pool anywhere. He could. People do. Ok, so this maybe a little teensy bit irrational. If you don't have kids, just wait- someday you will grow an irrational fear of your own.

At today's swimming lessons Boy learned to swim. Just like that. Now, I'm not saying he'll win the Olympics or anything, but he has made a sudden progression to a level where motion results from his movements. I was so excited. We decided there must be more swimming in celebration of his physical feat. It was supposed to be raining today, so we decided just to go back to the Y.

This is where I surprised myself...I had so much fun with Boy. Real fun, not the kind of fake fun you have when you're doing something for your kid that you really hate doing. He's never playd Marco Polo before, so we played that. We goofed around. I taught him all my best splashing and squirting techniques. We played with floaty balls. I taught him to do that thing where he stands on your shoulders, then you stand up real quick and throw him. I just plain threw him. It was SO FREAKIN FUN. Just me and him. There was no way for him to get into trouble, there was no one else to argue with. We didn't have to put on sunscreen (he hates that, but we're way too wonder-bread not to). It was perfect.

On the way home we sang to some downloaded tunes like "Fish Heads" and "Happy happy joy joy". They were all new to him and he thought they were soooo funny. We had a hoot.


I have resisted exercise. Someone told me every year that you don't exercise your metabolism slows four percent. My body has recently been presenting a nice demonstration of this. My weight is not changing; composition is. The effect is like unto what would happen if I were made of wax and started to melt.

Actually, in some regards I have been pleased, never really having an ass before, or a "pot" (remember Pulp Fiction?). Then today I went to get into my swim suit. Same swim suit as last year- drastically different look.

I have decided I will exercise now, ass or no ass.

No comments: